cat doesnt know where to find home, a home its never been to

Have u ever felt like u hate yourself a lot you even cant resist. You feel like you meet ur enemy everytime u look at mirror. Nothing makes u passionate, nothing to struggle for. Died doesnt even matter. Alone. World is so bright when all u can see is black. Laughing while u are depressed inside. The theory of impressing people is just so stupid. Dont even respect urself. Thats what i got for not believing something great, the greatest they say. God, ur so funny. U made something, things against u. Oh idk. For whoever whatever thank you for making the cat, the stray cat whos seeking for a new home feeling so bad about itself. The cat is now half dead. The cat just wants to be dissapear from this human word. Whatta world. Poor cat.

my weekly movie list (2)

Hi, Im back! I'm trying not to mess up this time, with a better writing and english. I dunno if I did it or not but atleast I've tried. So these are the movie I watched this week. I hope you enjoy my thoughts about these movie!


Air doll

Bercerita tentang Nozomi, sebuah boneka sex doll yang dimiliki oleh seorang pelayan restoran, Hideo yang menganggap Nozomi seorang kekasih yang setiap malamnya melakukan hubungan seksual. Di suatu pagi, Nozomi menemukan jiwanya bisa bergerak dan mencoba pergi ke dunia luar dan mempelajari hidup manusia. Di jalan, dia bertemu seorang karyawan pria di toko dan kemudian dia pun bekerja di toko itu.

It’s like a typical genre that is used for 18+ movie, isnt it? Yeah but this movie is trying to offer us about Individual modern life (with some of adult stuffs lol). Nozomi who was innocent and so exited about human life and found out that it’s so confusing. I couldn’t agree more!

For me, It’s a good movie, kind of. I love the idea of this movie but in some parts failed to impress me and those disturbing sex scenes. I do understand, this kind of movie like this needs a sex scene but please make it beautiful hahaha. I watched it twice because the first time I couldnt figure out what this movie was trying to offer me and watched it again finally. And BAE DOONA! SHE SLAYED IT! KILLING IT! Her acting, body language, and facial expression are too too too perfect. Bae Doona, that’s what we called it, Perfection. She’s really bae. If you’ve watched cloud atlas and sense eight (tv series), you will get it why I love Bae Doona so much! I dont think I would have watched this movie if it’s not because of Bae Doona. I give my 7/10 of this.

Don't Cry Mommy

The story about a girl, EunAh who’s tranferred to a new school because of her mom divorced and has a crush on JoHan, later with his friends brutally raped EunAh and threaten to upload the footage of the rape online to keep her quite. She’s stressed and in pain and her mom found out by herself and told the police, As all of the boys involved in the rape are still minors, the law is helpless to prosecute them to the fullest extent possible, and they walk away with little more than a slap on the wrist. EunAh take her own life. Frustated and angry, her mom seeks out revenge on her own and make the boys’ lives a living hell.

The moment when I watched this movie, I was so shocked and made me blackout. It was like I was in that movie. This movie gave me so much emotions like I was the mom. I even support what the mom did. I mean, I’d do the same if it happened to my family. Who won’t? And also, there’s a part that the mom sees the video when the daughter was being rapped? Just imagine, what would mothers think if they see their daughters being treated like that? Sad and failed to be a mom. It’s really heartbreaking. This movie is trying to offer us about how weak the law system when it comes to rapist. I know right and I agree that. An interesting movie about mother’s revenge with very good performances by actressess playing mother and daughter. And it’s based on the true story. I don’t know how do you say a Movie good. Is it the one that brings you feel the emotions when you are watching it and foccus on the movie? If it is, I gave 9/10. The cinematography is also good, backsound too. The idea of this movie is also strong. There’s so many things you can get when you’re watching it. So why not 9/10?

What I could figure out about this movie

1.       Girls are always the victim in every aspects. (Girls, it’s the time to show the world that you’re not weak.)

2.       Just be carefull with everyone around you, esp girls. Don’t be too stupid if someone asking you weird things.

3.       Mother’s love is unconditionally, LOVE YOUR MOTHER!

This movie reminds me about Yuyun, and Indonesian girl who was only 14 years old and bruttaly rapped by a group of 11 boys. And also the other girls I forgot their names but also were rapped by so many boys. So sad :( and because of the boys still minors so the law set them free. It’s not fair. I think that our law is really weak when it comes to rapist. Because most of people here think that the one to blame is the way how the girls dress. Stupid, eh? YUP! Don’t tell girls how to dress, tell the rapist not to rape!

Prayers for Bobby

Based on true story movie that tells about Bobby, who’s a nice guy and family’s proudest (living in a strict christian family) and he’s gay. So you have no idea how it feels to be Bobby. So his mother learns about his sexuallity in order to “heal” her son. Go to see a psychiatrist but still and she becomes hating her son is gay. Bobby feels depressed and anxious so he travels to another city and stay at his cousin’s place, Jeannette whos open minded. In that city he also meets David, later to be his boyfriend. Bobby comes back home and still finds her mom keep “kekeuh!” with her statement and they dont talk anymore. Bobby goes back visiting her boyfriend and finds him cheating on him. The one he thought his home but cheated on him. Bobby thinks that he gets no home and he takes his own life. His mom feels a bit guilty and thinks that there must be something wrong with this but not his son. Her son isn’t a sinner. She meets so many LGBT activists, attends LGBT church and she’s changed to be LGBT pro-activist.

One of the inspiring movie you must watch. A movie that is trying to offer you about diversity isn’t a bad thing, it’s beautiful. This movie also opened my eyes (because it’s based on the true story) about LGBT, that all the rumours arent true at all. Gay is a genetic. I believe it. If you see Bobby, do u have any idea why did he become gay while he raised by a strict Christian and lovable family? Just tell me. We hate LGBT beccause we never try to learn about them, to love them, to be around with them because we would be sinner too (maybe they say) if we do. By watching this movie, I know how hard it is to be something they called freak, sinner and stupid. You always feel stupid, unwanted, anxious, depressed, and many bad feeling. I really adore the mom who can finally embrace her son for being who he is eventho he’s dead already. I think all mom should do it. If you say, it’s againts religion, u know there’s no guarantee that......okay, I won’t talk/discuss/debate about religion here since I’m surrounded by those “strict”. By the way, this is my favorite quote of this movie “I know now why God didn’t heal Bobby. He didn’t heal him because there was nothing wrong with him.”. I gave my 7.5/10

And I found a blog that maybe gives u abit info about LGBT.

https://imamocean.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/mari-mengenal-gay-lebih-dekat/#comment-1014

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

The story about Nick who broke up with his ex and still obssesed with her. Nick’s friends later visit him and ask him to be ready because they need to find their favorite band’s secret show, “Where’s fluffy”. Norah who studies at the same school with Nick’s ex, tho they hate each other. Norah always listen to the mix CD that Nick gives to his ex aftex his ex throw them in the trash. They have mutual friend, Caroline. Those three girls end up at the bar where Nick’s band is performing. Norah gets attracted to Nick and get insulted by Nick’s ex because comes alone. Norah asks Nick to pretend to be her boyfriend to show up Tris. Norah kisses him, unaware that he is the ex-boyfriend of Tris. Caroline gets drunk and Norah wants to take her home, but Nick's bandmates (who see Norah as a potential new girlfriend for him) offer to take Caroline home so Norah and Nick can spend time together trying to find the show. But shit happens, Caroline is missing and the show they supposed attend, is gone.

This movie gives me hope! I always feel stupid when I feel falling in love with someone by only talking and be around with. You know I hate this feeling, it’s so easy for me to love and so hard to move on *curhat*. We can see how Norah feels in love with him (maybe you could say that it’s because she listened to Nick’s mix CD but hey she didnt know the first time they met) and Nick too, with a little meaningful conversation he feels in love with her and throw away his obssesion with his ex. It’s one the “stranger-meet-and-feel-in-love” movies I like (lol I love all movies with idea like that)! The soundtracks and the New York view makes this movie good. I love all the soundtracks. It’s one of the reasons why I’m into indie band lately. My fav character is Norah, she can be cute, smart, and bitch at the same time haha. Good Job, Kat Dennigs! I gave my 8/10.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY!

I hope you enjoy reading it and guys please do comment and your critics so I can make a better posting next time! Say whatever you want with advice and suggestions! =)

Maybe I'm too much watching American TV Series

Hi! Have u ever felt like you love your family, but you just can’t be with your family? Im feeling it lately since I was back home (and sometimes I couldn’t call it “home”). The more I spend time with them, the more I realize I just dont fit in “anymore” with them. Different goals, idea and perspective. It’s okay if we have different “stuffs” tho, but the thing is they push me to follow what they think it’s right and follow the path. I used to think that my family was the coolest family in this world because they let me chose what I want for my life, while most of my friends didnt get that. They are still cool tho, but only when we are seperated. I love them. I just cant be with them. I dont want to lose them but I cant live at the same roof with them. Maybe I’m just the one with so many wants in his life. Maybe they give me limited while I want limitless. Maybe I’m just an ungrateful bitch son who doesnt know how to be thankful. Maybe I’m just sad. I can’t wait to get a job, earn money. Send some money to my parents and sister monthly, leave the house and live my life. I do love them, I dont want to lose them, but I just can’t live at the same roof.

-          The ungrateful bitch son, 

       Rino.

My Weekly Movie List

Already Tomorrow in Hong Kong

This is the first move I watched when I got back my hometown. I’ve told you that I’m in my Hometown, haven’t I? Well, it doesnt matter tho. Let’s to the topic. This movie teels about an Chinese-American woman, Ruby, a toy designer (not sex toy) whos traveling or maybe working temporarily in Hong Kong that supposed to meet her friend at a Bar (she was already at a wrong bar) but her phone doesnt have GPS so she get lost. And accidently met Josh whos hearing Rubi like she needs a help so he offers Ruby for a walk to her destination. So, they walk around talk to each other, what they do, what their passions are, and many things. When they get the location where Ruby is supposed to meet at her friend, the bitch Ruby (hahahaha jk) offers to blow them off to get a drink with Josh. AND TURNED OUT JOSH HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND IT SCREWED RUBY UP (makes sense because what kind of man who already has a girlfriend and still hang out with another girl and left his girl. Ruby gets attracted to Josh, so that’s why). Ruby leave him, and the story ends.

Wait, lol no. A year later they meet again, somehow. At a cruise, somehow. Still in Hong Kong, because Ruby has been living there in Hong Kong for a year and her time is up a week later. She meets Josh and the conversations begin, again like they did last year. U wanna know next? U gotta watch this!

In my mind this story is just about meeting a right person in wrong time. Eventho you just met someone but if someone is “the one” you will have a strong feeling that he or she is “the one”. Eventho its started because of the coversations.  But the problem that Ruby and Josh are facing is they have their partner but the feeling is too strong, so that’s why.

I like this movie but many people don’t (based on IMDB, 6.6/10). I like the idea of this movie. I’m so into the movie that the plot is about two strangers meet each other and start conversations and somehow they feel in love. I’M SO INTO THIS KIND OF STORY, that’s why I love this movie. The conversation they have is cute, funny and sometimes lovely. I like how they keep being racional and think logically. I think you sould watch this if youre the kind of person who’s like me. I recommend to you.

By the way, the story why I ended watching this movie was I was on the website for movie downloading and I wasn’t gonna watch it tho. I was looking for horror and I saw Jamie Chung’s face. I have a huge crush on her!!! She’s a definition of perfection (she’s short anyway but doesnt matter)!! Jamie is playing Ruby so, yeah. And I read the synopsis and saw the trailler and boom! IT HAPPENED I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

Philomena

I love this one. I recomended you to watch this. Ok thanks, LOL.

This movie is about Philomena Lee, looking for her son that was adopted (I dont think it’s an “adopt” thing) and brought to US. Back then 1951, Philomena became pregnant and wast sent by her Father to a place for nuns or something and was forced to work at convent laundry (seems like paying debt). After she gave birth to a baby, the fucking nuns gave her baby son for adoption without giving Philomena to say Goodbye (Bitch, eh).

There’s a journalist who has lost his job, named Martin Sixsmith and approached by Philomena’s daughter. At first, he didnt interest to write about human interest story but he decided to investigate her case, somehow. They met, and decided to go to US after thebartender at the bar tell Martin that the nuns sell babies to the US. But before that, they investigated the nuns (but still this bitchy nuns were so bitch!!). And the journey began.

What I like about this movie is the dialogue between Philomena and Martin. There’s so many lessons of life that you can learn by listening their dialogue, such as god, religion, love, and life. What a convo! And how Philomena stays positive to everything (he already knew that the nuns were so bitch and terrible but she still had a positive side. I remembered Martin had a fight with the nuns and suddenly Philomena came out and said “I forgive you (the nuns)” “what” “I dont want to be angry. Look at you, Martin.”). Philomena is a great woman! And also (SPOILER), Philomena’s son was gay (the dialogue between Philomena and her son’s friend too funny, “so you were his girlfriend?” “sorry? I said your son was a gay” “I know, he’s so sensitive when he’s a kid. I mean, maybe he might be curious bisexual”. SUPER LOL!) she’s still cool. I think every mother should be like that. Proud of your children for no matter what!

THE LAST THING WHY I SAID PHILOMENA IS GREAT IS BECAUSE BASED ON THE TRUE STORY! Youve gotta watch this! I give my 9/10 on this! Go download and watch!

The Skin I live In

This story tells us about Plastic Surgeon Robert Ledgard who created an artifical skin resistant to burns and incest bites, which he calls “GAL” (based on his wife’s name who died because of the accident who made her wife burnt, her face too). He tried the trial with keeping a woman named Vera. Vera later known is a rapist for his daughter. So now why the movie is a horror/thriller genre.

My opinion about this movie is good. I love the idea of the story, revenge and the revenge is really beautiful, I think. But, I dont know I dont really enjoy watching. This movie could be more but I just couldnt figure out what it is. Maybe because of this thiller/horror movie is without screaming, blood, killing (there was a kill scene but it’s not that scary), and other scary stuffs, maybe I’m just still with the stereotypes that thiller movie is supposed to be with so much blood and screaming, or maybe the producers show the “thiller”ness with Robert’s insanity. I dont know. But it’s still fun to watch!

I gave my 8/10. Spoiler, if only Vera ended up with Robert that would be cute :P

Blue is the Warmest Color

LGBT Movie! I dont know why I love LGBT movie so bad. And this one is the most vulgar movie. First, it shows us about Adele who’s meeting without stopping with blue-haired girl, Emma when Adele was going to her school. After that she always thought about Emma and started asking her sexuality. She was not just asking but also searching. She dated with a guy, had sex and felt weird. And finally She came to gay bar, where she met Adele and they started chatting, meeting and living together. They were always happy and filled with love. Having sex! Wohoo! But then shit always happened and something came up. Adele started looking for herself and sexuality again. Emma kinda changed and you gotta watch this hahaha.

My opinion this movie is about looking for sexuality, love, life. The producers made it so good. I like the the way the producers making Adele and Emma came from Lovable family because there’s so many movies, I mean LGBT movies making the characters came from not happy family. I mean, not everyone with LGBT cases comes from unhealthy family, but sometimes media makes it that why so.....And theres a sex scene (7minutes of this movie and it’s really really natural!). For me it’s weird, the sex scene was only with moan without backsound. Still weird, but by watching that scene u will figure out how much Emma and Adele were in Crazy Love. I mean their love was so deep! I give my 7.5/10 on this!

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY!

Deep Talking about Me

Hi guys. I’m back again. How are u? Great I hope ‘cause I am. Oh no, not really.

So in this posting I’m going to talk about someone, someone who’s really special to me, the one I love and adore so much. He’s me. Myself. Since I realized no one loved me and cared about me (like I do), so yeah I put myself in first place on anything. Maybe If could marry my myself, I would and I could have sex with myself, I would. Mastubation is a different thing :P

I was born in a small city in Indonesia to lecturer mom and businessman dad. I have 2 siblings, all sisters (supposed to be 3 siblings but my mom had miscarriage). I grew up being compared to my cousins, my parents always said that I should do what my cousins do, I should be like him. That was suck. Not only compare to my cousins, even to other people who they thought they were cool. Cool Boy. They even made me feel down in front of people (sometimes). It really bumped into myself, I become someone who didnt have confidence in my life, because I thought what I was doing, what I had done was just not as good as people do. Nice one, mom and dad. I’m not a typical usual boy, I mean I can’t fight, I don’t like football, basketball, volleyball, I hate sport and I’m not into automotive but I like to dress up people, dancing, cooking, acting and singing (it could happen because of my dad left us for work to the US for a year so I was like this, probably. Or maybe I was just born like this because there were also men, neighboor of us who took care of me while my dad left). And unluckily me I live in a city that steretype of gender does matter. Boys should do like that, boys should like something like that and pitty on me because of that I also grew up being called “in the middle between boy and girl” yeah sissy boy. When I was kid, It did matter but not really but it continued untill I was in senior high school and the saddest part was when my mom also called me like that. I was so sad, you have no idea how much sad I was. I already got that name-calling from outside and I was still not okay about that and my mom did it (I’m thankful that my dad he never called me like that) (I wrote like this doesnt mean I hate my parents, but sometimes I need to speak up right?) (I LOVE MY PARENTS THANKS FOR GIVING ME EDUCATION AND SUPPORT IT WITH MONEY AND LOVE) (THANKS FOR NEVER PUSHING ME TO CHOSE WHAT I WANT TO BE) (AKU SAYANG KALIAN). It always got me asking “do I deserve this?”. My famiy, even sisters called me like that. I was getting used it not because I like it but when I fought them back, they would do something make me more even down. So what should I do unless get used to it? It made me feel scared and insecure whenever I wanted to do something. “Does it fit in my family?” “Does it fit in my gender?” “What will I get If I do this? It’s girl stuffs eh”. Always like that. I couldnt be myself, I couldn’t improve my skills. It’s not like I wanted to be a girl, NO. That’s just my interests that like some of girl’s stuff (they say). Well, yeah I remember that I  ever thought about being a girl but it’s not because I wanted to. I thought that it made me easier to do things that I liked. I also remember, my uncle made fun of me in front of the whole family about me, I was there and some people looked at me and LAUGHED. I was just hiding my tears. Everyone laughed. Yes they did. I still remember that day untill now. I’m serious. I really do hate him (He’s having the same birthday date like me, so u got a clue now who he is). And my parents still blame me and ask why I’m not confident? U kidding me! Also I grew up and was raised in a close-minded city and it made an impact to me, I become close-minded, homophobe, and like to put people into a groups (I mean, I labelled people based on their religion and their clan like “ugh he’s so bad no wonder he’s christian” “Eh, he’s so badmouthing, of course he’s “one of that clan”” “What is her religion?”). I WAS SO STUPID, I KNOW. And something came up, I started learning about humanity and one by one my close-minded was gone and made who I am today (eventho sometimes I still have that, based on the case). Hahahaha!

I was extrovert when I was a child (I know it’s a weird because just now I told u that people made fun of me because of who I am, but still I was kid, I didnt care about it, and my childhood friends didnt care about it, most of my childhood friends no idea about what it was, so that’s why) untill I my junior high school. I liked to hang out, dinner downtown with my friends, and played outside. I got a long with whoever regardless of that “thing” I said before and in my junior high school I didnt really get so much about insulting from someone about that “thing”. And it changed dramatically when I graduated junior high school. I couldnt get into my favorite school (A school for cool people in that time, the most favorited school in that time because of my marks. Shit. So I needed to go to “problem” school  whis were so many people from a place that I didnt know where it was and yeah they were freak people, even more freak than a sissy boy like me. They didn’t even know about what music (west music) was happening that time, they didn’t have twitter, facebook and I was like “which part of the world you live in?!”. So it made me become introvert. I didn’t socialize that much, I didn’t like it, even. I only made with a few friends that could be counted. And nightmare came to me again, people there liked to get me offended. Still with that sissy thing. Even my close friends there. They laughed at me, made fun of me, and got me offended with that sissy thing. My acnes too, they felt disgusted with it (so did my family). That’s why I didn’t consider them as my best friends or good friends, theyre just dont. You guys were just my close friend. Sorry if any of you, is reading my blog now. I’m sorry to say that. I just want to be true and honest to myself and everyone. The vibes in my senior high school also, not cool. I mean, people were running to be number one, not to be better than their previos selves. That’s so sick. People liked to make down others, the teachers were racist. I had my Math teacher and shes Christian and she only picked Christians student. My Religion teacher also liked to spread hatred to other religion. I remember he liked to insult Christian, Jesus, or any Christian stuffs calling us stupid for choosing Christian friend as our leader mate. Sick vibes. 

But something came up and it finally changed my life. I got to move to BANDUNG! I called this city, “The city of Hope”! A little story behind “how did I get to Bandung”, I already went to college, in....let’s say rural area in Aceh. I went to public school with Communication majoring. The facility was not good. The building also. I was still thankful. I was greatful but I was also a human. I wanted something better to me. So I decided to take an exam again next year later. Like I said before, I like to dress up people especially woman. One time I drew a gown, and I showed to my friend. Actually she’s the one I showed my work to and she said it’s good, she recommended me to go to Fashion school whose his friend also studied there. I talked to my mom and asked about that, and she said “so you’re moving to another island? *with sad voice*” “Yes.” “We’ll talk about it later”. And yeah finally I passed the test and were moving to Bandung BUT BUT BUT theres another uncle (not the one I want to kill) told my mom if I go to Fashion School, I would be Gay and seemed like my mom got influenced by that.  I didnt get why my mom’s siblings liked (even “like”) to screw up my life. Sometimes I hate my family. But still I could handle it. And I went! YEAY! Since I moved to Bandung. I choose Fashion Design majoring because I think that’s just my pasion. First why I choose it? Because I like watching Miss Universe, I like to see how gorgeous woman could be if they are wearing a good gown so from that I kept drawing/making sketches, gown sketch (eventho I still got a lot of insulting moments because of drawing girl/woman stuff). But it’s different here, I feel like Im more respected, what I do is appriacted by them, never joke about my acnes, I can be myself, I can improve my skills, People sometimes makes a joke (u need to know the different between make a joke and make fun of people) about that sissy thing but u know it’s just a joke and still get along with me, being surrounded of supportive people who never make me down, who I can share my dream with them without them feeling disgusted or saying “Lo bakal jadi banci kalo jadi desainer!”, makes me become AMBIVERT from my INTROVERTness, makes me more confidence about myself and so many positive vibes I got in Bandung. HOW CAN I NOT LOVE THIS CITY?! HOW?! I’m bringing this up because I heard some people said that I already forgot my hometown atau kacang lupa kulit, I dont love my hometown. Hhhhh the thing is How can I love something that makes me worried, down, unwanted, insecure? JUST TELL ME HOW?! But I’m so grateful that I was born and raised, grew up with those vibes in my life, it’s just makes me stronger. Yeah.

Hobby. Hmm my hobbies are watching movie or serial tv (US serial tv), dancing, singing (eventho my voice is bad), swimming (but I dont usually do this), Analyzing etnichity of people (example “she must be Irish, he must be mixed of asian, he looks asiatique) Idk why but I just do like this kind of thing, and drawing (only human esp woman, and now because of I always did it in college so I got bored :P).  The genres of Movie/TV Series I’m really into is science fiction with thriller especially human, secret organization who’s making a new human and world, like human evolution, studying DNA, robot, clone. That’s why I love Orphan Black, Sense8, The Tomorrow People for series. I also like fantasy, like The Originals, The Walking Dead (but it’s getting bored since season 5), and GAME OF THRONES, who doesn’t anyway? #TEAMARYA #TEAMSTARK #WINTERISCOMING Hahahaha.

People what I like? I like people who’s passionate about something their desire or theyre into. People whos cheerful, Hardworking, Open-Minded, and can be grateful in every thing. And the person I wanna be with?.....they have to be cheerful, who can accept for whatever I am, someone who wants to be from down to up with me, someone who I can talk about everything with. Hihihi. I have a complexity personality based on test I took. It makes sense, I always do something what majority don’t, I like to be againts stereotype, I feel like I need to impress people because I’ve never got one I mean I never made poeple impress about me (that bad pass really screw me up I guess)! But see, I’m trying to handle it and to be proud of Myself. If it’s not me? Who else?

My favorite food is FRIED EGG! I could finish 10 egg in a one meal? How to impress me? Buy me a food contains Egg! Favorite drink? MINERAL WATER! It helped me to increase my metabolism so I couldn’t be obesity, yet (amit amit!). Because I like food so much and now I’m diet. Trust me. Oh yeah for physically I’m quite short for a guy, I’m just  5’65 and 80kg (fatty!). I was born pale, small eyes, dark brown eyed, quite big nose and mouth(chinese look-alike) but asian sun made my skin darker so I look more Indonesian now :))) (trust me when I was a little kid I looked like mixed children that could make sense because of my dad has Portuguese descent (not sure) but he said my grandfather was blue-eyed and my greatgrandfather looked a lot like western).

What I want to do in life? Hmm thats just a hard question. If you mean future job, I dont have any specific job because what I want to be is just to be Happy for no matter what. So I’ll do and I’ll be anything to make me happy because I’ve been having a lack of happiness back then. But if I have to answer it might be an actor hahaha. It was my dream but I’m just being racional, Im not good-looking at all so yeah hahaha. Maybe a designer. Gown Designer. I need to work hard! But if it’s doesnt work out? I don’t know maybe tuor guide since I like to be around with foreigners. Regardless of the specific job I’ll just want to be happy. I’ve promised to myself, no one can take my happiness.

The End? So it’s the end? I dont know what to write anymore, I think I already wrote all. But if u get any question you can ask me. And I want to say something that:

1.       Stop comparing people because people have their own speciality

2.       Stop labelling people, just dont. It’s not funny.

3.       Stop being racist, you look stupid when you are.\

4.       Stop asking people to do something what you like, they have their own desire.

5.       Be strong and go for your dream.

6.       Survive, somehow. Youre worth it!

7.       You are beautiful whatever you are, no matter what you like, nobody can take away your happiness.

8.       Promise to yourself that you’ll always be happy.

9.       Smile after you read it. I love you people! (except my stupid uncle hahahaha :)))

THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG, I HOPE YOU ENJOY AND SORRY FOR BEING TOO EMOTIONAL. NOW I’M SO RELAX BECAUSE FINALLY I SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY FOR SO LONG. EVENTHO ITS JUST AN BLOG NOT EVERYONE READ IT BUT STILL, I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR FINALLY BRAVE ENOUGH. THANKYOU SO MUCH! <3 nbsp="" p="">

Summer Exchange with AIESEC (3)

Hola I’m back again!

So this time I’m writing about my experience about goinng (summer exchange with AIESEC) to China. The previous ones I talked about how the interview was and the visa stuffs and now, What I was doing in China! Who’s exited?! Noone even cares, bitch. Well, Okay.

But, this time I’m writing in Bahasa Indonesia so that temen temen bule ku gabisa ngerti apa maksud dari apa yang bakalan aku tulis (nyinyir allert and I’m gonna talk sweet about someof them dan gue gamau mereka nganggep kalo mereka gue puji2 disini :P).

Gue inget itu tanggal 8 juni 2015, gue dianter ke kualanamu sama keluarga gue. 

my sistr!

Disitu perasaan gue campur aduk banget, gue seneng gue ngga ngehabisin liburan gue dengan percuma di kampung halaman gue (which is a boring city) dan itu juga pertama kalinya gue keluar negeri sendiri karena biasanya gue sama orang tua kalo keluar negeri, dan apalagi ini negara yang belum pernah gue kunjungin and ofcourse I’M SO EXITED. Tapi gue juga takut, takut banget. Let’s be clear here. I’m a shy extroverted or maybe ambivert. Jadi agak susah buat untuk mudah bersosialisi, I can sosialize but it’s not an easy thing for me. Gue selalu ngomong2 dalem hati diselama perjalanan, di pesawat. Am I good enough? Am I able to socialize with people there? With the exchange participants. It happened, always. Gue takut banget kalo gue bakalan ga dapet temen disana, takut bahasa inggris gue ga lancar (yeah it would be the first time using english everyday for me, so u know how that feels). Dan ketakutan gue itu bener2 ngalahin rasa exited gue. So, after I arrived in Kuala Lumpur(transit), I thought it would be better if the plane was going to fall down. Gila, gue sampe berfikiran gitu banget saking gue takutnya. Tapi alhamdulillah ga terjadi apa2. I was stupid. Di pesawat, gue sebelahan sama orang cina dan dia ga ngerti bahasa inggris. Crap. Makin sedihlah gue di pesawat. Bingung. Gue diem selama 5 jam perjalanan, I couldn’t sleep.

But yeah I arrived. Sampe di bandara gue bingung mau kemana, gue nanya ke mbak mbak bandara with my terbata-bata English Indonesian accent. Hape gue lowbat, wifi bandaranya mati-mati dan gue liat beberapa OC uda ngewechat gue beberapa kali dan crap hape gue mati! Gue uda mikir yaudahlah nyasar, nyasar ae. Ngelewatin petugas imigrasi dengan beberapa pertanyaan (mungkin dia takut gue bakalan jadi pekerja illegal disana hahaha), dan karena gue males ngejawabnya, gue bilang aja gue ga ngerti apa yang dia bilang dan gue kasih aja surat2nya. Dan gue bebas tanpa pertanyaan hahaha. Oh iya karena hape gue mati, dan gue gatau harus kemana, gue ikutin aja orang2 yang tadi sepesawat sama gue ke jalan keluar. Gue Cuma mikir bakalan ketemu tempat buat ngecharge hape. DAN, waktu gue di pintu keluar gue ngeliat dua cewe cina, satu pendek berkacamata, rambut panjang kecoklat2an yang gue tau itu bukan rambut naturalnya dan satu cewe tinggi banget (she was the tallest girl I met, seriously), rambut panjang, kurus. Dan mereka megang laptop yang screen nya bertuliskan “FAHRYN PATKA APRINSYAH”! Oh god, thanks. It’s them. Silenn and Trista. It was 1 am chinese time and they smiled at me. Mungkin senyum palsu atau mungkin senyum tulus tapi dicampur cape. Gue bales senyum and I come to them. Mereka mulai ngomong dan hal pertama dari mulut mereka ya “Hi, Rino! Your full name is too long, we can’t pronounce it.”. Hahaha. Terus gue juga minta maaf gitu maaf uda cape cape ngejemput, padahal itu jam 1 malem banget. Hmm. I feel bad for them. Dibawalah gue ke hotel di Shanghai (bukan di downtown shanghai ya). Jadi tempatnya itu kaya pedesaan di Shanghai gitu,tapi tetep menurut gue hotelnyabagus. 

first meal I had in Shanghai!

Gue awalnya berfikir kalo hotelnya dibayarin mereka, tapi bayar sendiri :( dan karena itu hampir jam 2 malem gueblm makan malem, gue makan bekal gue.Dan gue pun tidur. Besok paginya tiba tiba kamar gue diketuk. And it was them with my new roommate, they said. Shi Jian Chan from Malaysia. “Call me, SJ. Super Junior.” “Oh, okay.”. Hahaha that’s funny -_- malemnya kita makan bareng, and we shared stories. Keesokan harinya Pacho dari Filipina dateng. Dan mulai berdatanganlah beberapa EP. Susana, Marco and Lily (theyre sibling) from Mexico, and Utkarsh from India. Sorenya kita jalan2 ke sekitar the Bund, downtown Shanghai. IT WAS AWESOME! I WAS LIKE IN NEW YORK. THAT’S THE BEST/COOLEST CITY I’VE EVER BEEN. I LOVE SHANGHAI FOR SURE.

roomat! chan!

And we were moving to another city, Ningbo. The trip from Shanghai to Ningbo was too exhausted. I forgot how many hours to get there but IT WAS REALLY EXHAUSTED. Gue duduk disamping Lily dan Susana, dibelakang gue Utkarsh. Mereka ga berhenti ngomong tentang kebudayaan mereka. Apalagi si cowo India. Bukan berarti gue ga tertarik dengan kebudayaan mereka, tapi emang gue uda cape dan males nimbrung2 wkwk. Oiya sebelum ke stasiun kereta tuh, tenaga kita uda dikuras, jadi tuh kita bawa koper banyak dan kita harus naik bus, semacam busway kalo di Indonesia, dan itutuh sempit, desak2an. Ya bayangin aja, perorang tuh bawa 2 koper sedang, dan kita tuh ada 10orang termasuk OC, belum lagi ditambah penumpang lain. Dan sialnya gue, MY LUGGAGE IS BROKEN. SO gue harus hati2 waktu ngedorongnya. Tai emang.

Dan sampailah kita di hotel. Gue sekamar lagi sama Chan. And you what I found in Hotel?! Condom and some number-calling for whore. A good experience, u know.

Hari itujuga ketemu EP2 lain dari negara lain yang arrived nya di Ningbo, bukan Shanghai. Malemnya kita dinner bareng2. 

Dan tetep kemana pun pergi, mereka selalu kepo kepo tentang agama gue. Islam. They’re really curious about that. Mereka itu exited untuk argue ke gue ttg Islam. Jadi bukan exited karena apa2nya. That’s good tho. 

Besok paginya kita ke kampus para OC. University Nottingham of Ningbo China. That’s super huge campus! Gila dibanding kebanyakan kampus2 di Indonesia, itu bagus banget gila! Ada gym, ruang dance, ruang musical gitu. Lengkap. Gila. Keren banget. Gue mau kuliah disitu aja XD

Kok Hong Malaysia  .  Zara Azrbaijan

Mook and Miw Thailand

Terus kita pergi lagi ke pusat kota gitu, gue lupa nama tempatnya apa. Lumayan keren sih (Mungkin karena efek gue suka ornamen dan dekorasi cina, jadi semua tempat yang guedatengin, gue rasa keren). 

Sorenya balik bentar ke Hotel and I got another roommate, Richie! Dan malemnya kita ke Karaoke. I thought it’s gonna be boring but no. I liked it! HAHAHAHA.

Chan, Blla, Kok Hong

Banyak sih tempat2 di Ningbo yang gue kunjungin, Cuma gue lupa/gatau nama tempat2nya apa karena written in Chinese. Mungkin gue disini Cuma bakalan nulis yang gue inget dan berkesanaja buat gue, kaya vihara, bar (:P), downtown hahaha.

BAR!

Oh iya, project gue itu tentang Exploring China, nama projeknya East meets West. Jadi makanya banyak jalan2nya. Projectnya juga kebanyakan tentang share culture danlainlainnya tentang budaya. Tiap hari itu kaya disuruh buat powerpoint tentang tema masing2. Misalnya nih hari ini temanya makanan, buat ppt makanan. Besok baju adat. Gitu2 deh. I thank to Arga my Indonesian mate for always helping me! XD eventho I know he was mad at me bcseI didnt do well in some times. Projeknya juga diundur, karena ada masalah gitu. Diundur seminggu. Jadilah kita bosen hahaha. Untuk projeknya juga, banyak banget drama. Drama banget. Dari yang awalnya hotelnya lebih murah, taunya waktu nyampe biayanya nambah, dari yang janjinya dapet makan sekali sehari (free food), gajadi gara2 sponsornya ada yang mutusin kontrak. Banyak banget. Awalnya sih kita gapapa masalah uang di akhir2, tapi di akhir2 kita jadi kehabisan uang gitu. Jadilah complain. Mungkin gara2 OC nya juga baru di AIESEC jadi ya gitu. Tapi overall they helped tho.

Kita juga ada liburan buat 3 hari ke Hangzhou. It was nice actually but there was a story behind this. Ada beberapa yang ga ikut ke Hangzhou, dan mereka complain mereka tetep bayar uang hotel di Ningbo. Jadilah nangis2an. Dan juga harus bayar berapa gitu buat kereta api sama hotel yang sesuai janji ga semahal itu. Jadi kalo diitung2 uang gue itu habis di hotel, kereta, gitu2 doang sih -_-

Dan juga selama di Hangzhou banyak banget gosip2 hahaha. Jadi mereka tuh habis mabuk2an, gue sama temen2 deket gue berfikir buat ga ikutan. Mereka mabuk2annya di kamar gue, dan gue harus ngungsi ke kamar lain. Dan pas gue balik, ada yang ciuman, ada yang joged2 gak jelas.  Dan yang parahnya ada dua orang diluar, Marco sama Vivid. Vividnya mabuk parah, dan dia minta gitu2 sama si Marco hahaha. Pulang2, masuk kamar “itu” nya si Marco naik. Wohooo nice experience banget itu sist. WKWKWKWKWK!

Kembali ke Ningbo, dan mulai kegiatan lagi.

Making paper craft!

Salah satu kegiatan yang gue suka. Akhirnya tangan gue terasah lagi buat buat kayagini hahaha.

Chinese Calygraphy.

Salah satu yang gue suka juga. Soalnya gue yang paling bagus nulis tulisan chinese nya hahahahaha.

Making zongzee (I dont know how to write it)

Ini buat masakan cina gitu, dan you know what? That’s the first time I touched pork. I mean, daging babi. First time banget ngaduk2 daging babi, dimasukin ke zongzee. Nice experience! Hahaha 

Global Village in Ningbo.

Ini yang paling gue suka. Soalnya gue pake baju adat. Feeling like a Miss Universe, eh? Hahahaha. Gue sama Arga pake ulos trs kita nyanyi lagu batak, gue lupa itu lagu apa. Sumpah gue seneng banget waktu Global Village. Liat mereka pake baju baju adat mereka. UGH!

Sorenya kita pergi lagi ke tempat kaya taman gitu, ada danaunya. Tempatnya tenang. Dan lagi2 gue lupa namanya. But it was nice place.

Besok paginya, gue sama beberapa kelompok #TeamAsia pergi ke pelosok2 Ningbo. Tempat2nya adem banget. Ditengah2 desa, hutan. Jalan kaki, naik naik tangga super panjang. A day to be a real explorer hahaha.

Malemnya kita ke pusat perbelanjaan di Ningbo. Gue beli tas dan topi dan itu sudah rusak sekarang. Made in China -_-

Trs kita juga makan di restoran Korea. Gue mesen Ramen. IT WAS THE BEST RAMEN I’VE EVER TRIED.

And the day after that day, we were moving to Xiamen! Xiamen kotanya bagus, menurut gue. Banyak tempat2 lucu untuk didatengin, gak kaya Ningbo yang menurut gue agak bosenin. Dan juga ada Pantai! Wohoo! Tapi ya jadinya panas sih. Dan hal pertama yang kita lakuin adalah, we went to the Beach, bitch!

Oh iya di Xiamen, kita tinggal di asrama dan gratis. Di dalem kamar itu ada 6 orang. Harusnya sih cowo- cowo...cewe-cewe. Tapi kita engga hahaha. Gue sekamar bareng Ananya dari India, Kelly & KokHong dari Malaysia, Bella my best best from Vietnam, dan Chan, again. Hihihi. Makan juga gratis. Pokoknya gue hemat deh di Xiamen.

Hari berikutnya kita ada city tour gitu dan kita digabung sama mahasiswa2 China jurusan komunikasi, jadi ya kita kaya artis gitu hahaha ditanya2in. Difoto2. Walaupun gue ga terlalu di tanya2in gitu sih. I mean, I look Asian -_- Ofc.  Oh iya dari sini juga gue jadi temenan sama Cloris, mahasiswa dari China. Orangnya baik banget. Cantik, lucu. Ugh.

Hari berikutnya, kita ada kaya kegiatan buat menyambut Dragon Boat.Yes, Finally Dragon Boat! Gue masuk ke kelompok 2, bareng Alaa, Marco, Rodrigo, Ilgin, Kelly, Jane, Rawan, Zara, Utkarsh, Kim, Arga, Pacho sama Jiyaad. And WE WON! Sumpah itu tangan gue pegel banget, ngedayungnya haruskuat banget. Mana waktu gue disitu si Jane eek ini blg gue males lagi krna gue ngedayungnya ga kuat hahaha.

Kegiatan-kegiatan lainnya adalah, buatbuat kue China, Puppet Show China.

Ada juga cycling (oke, gue hampir pingsan disini. Tiba2 aja turun dari sepeda pandangan gue item, kepala gue pusing, dan orang pertama yang gue panggil itu Miew hahaha. Love, Miew!)

Kungfu! And finally I got to try this!

Sama karaoke2 gak jelas lah hahahaha. We loved karaoke that much!

Oh gak lupa juga, ada beberapa anak2 mahasiswa China minta tolong gue buat tugas mereka. Jadi artis untuksehari dong hahaha. Dapet bayaran makan gratis lagi hahahaha.

Visa. Jadi, kan di postingan sebelumnya gue uda cerita tentang masalah visa gue kan. Nah gue ngurusnya di Xiamen. Sumpah gue sebel banget sama OC nya disini, gue uda blg dari awal2 kalo gue ada masalah visa. Tapi baru diurus 5 hari setelah visa gue uda mau habis. Nyebelin. Mana diusir 3 hari berturut2. Sumpah sebel. Ngehabisin waktu. Tapi syukur sih bisa diperpanjang. Thanks, Trista!

Dan terakhir, Global Village in Xiamen.

Gue make baju santai gitu sama bawahnya ulos dan headpiece ulos gitu. Dan gue uda siapin peta gue. Peta yang banyak dipuji2 orang hahaha. Yaiyalah. 

Dan dihari itu juga temen2 deket gue pada pulang, Kok Hong sama Bella balik. Si Chan juga.  Kok Hong balik duluan karena mau balik ke Australia, Chan sama Bella mau liburan ke Shanghai. Jadi mereka pacaran gitu. Kayanya mau spend time waktu lebih banyak berdua. IH. Miew, Arga, Ananya, sama Richie juga pergi ke Beijing. Tinggallah gue bareng Kelly di kamar. And you know what? Pacarnya minta tukeran kamar. Super argh. Tapi gue gamau dong. Tapi tiap malem sebelum tidur tetep aja gue denger suara2 orang ciuman, suara cekikikan cewe2 manja. YOU KNOW HOW IT FELT?! Gue sih ngerasa kalo gue lagi keluar mungkin mereka udah indehoy hahahaha.

And finally last week in China, we spent in Shanghai again. YEAY!

Kalo disini sih kita uda dibebasin mau kemana aja, jadi kita semua lebih banyak jalan2. Dan temen jalan2 gue biasanya, Pacho, Jane, Kim, Mook, Miew, Richie.

The Bund.

Venice’s Shanghai.

Sama banyak tempat tapi gue lupa nama2nya. Hahahaha.

Dan sampailah hari2 semua orang pada pulang. Sedih memang. Gue gamau pulang. Gue mau tetep disitu aja. Apalagi ngebayangin balik ke Kampung Halaman superku. HHHHH. I cried a lot during this time. I will miss them Xd (disini juga gue pertama kalinya ngeliat orang make out secara langsung hahaha , kelly and thor.).

My peeps in China!

Mook!

Aku sayang gadis ini! Dia temen yang selalu bareng2 sama gue. Apalagi gue suka Thailand, gue banyak nanya2 tentang Thailand. Dia itu pemalu. Dia sering nanya2 gue apakah gue bakalan ikut kegiatan atau engga. Kalo gue blg engga, dia juga engga. Kita juga punya masalah sama visa kita. That’s why we were always together. Gue juga cerita masalah masalah gue. Orang yang gue suka di project. I dont know when I was with her I didnt have to be someone else. I was just being honest when I was with her. I miss you Mook!!

Bella!

Pokoknya kalo gue engga sama Mook, ya gue sama Bella. Bella, my first impression when I saw her first, gue itu kaya ngeliat diri gue sendiri dalam versi cewe. Kita sama sama suka ketawa, gue sama dia sama2 ngerti joke yang kita buat. Kita juga sama sama males hahaha. Everytime I talked with her, chatingan, gue itu ga harus nyari topik untuk ngomong sama dia. Ngalir aja kaya air. Dan akhirnya dia putus sama Chan, u got what I meant? HAHAHAHA!

Miew!

Dia ini cewe terkeren yang pernah gue temui. Suka petualangan, Suka hal hal yang menantang. Miss selfie hahahaha. Dimanapun dia berada dia pasti selfie. Ini orang keren banget! Tingkat survival nya tinggi banget. Dia murid tehnik. Banyak kegiatannya dan rata2 kegiatannya itu Internasional semua. Dan yah terbukti dia sekarang magang di Amerika. TRAVEL A LOT. I ENVY HER SO MUCH.

Richie!

Cowo keren yang pernah gue temui. Keren ga harus fisik kan? Dari cara berfikir dia, keliatan banget dia itu Smart banget. Dia tau apa yang dia lakukan dengan hidupnya sekarang. Dia ga malu nunjukin siapa dirinya. Dia itu gay, and so what? Gue selalu nanya tentang apa2 ke dia. Science, sex, life. Dan jawaban2 dia itu selalu briliant. Gue selalu suka deh pokoknya sama conversation yang kita buat hahaha. I adore him so much.

Pacho!

I barely knew her. But shes good person. Gue selalu berharap bisa deket sama dia, dia itu keren juga hahaha. Dia itu ga takut untuk jadi dirinya sendiri. Bahasa Inggrisnya juga top banget. Makanya gue sering ngehindar kalo ngomong sama dia hahaha.

Chan!

Roommate ku di segala kegiatan hahaha. Singaporean guy. Orang terbaik yang gue kenal. Dia mau ngebantu semua orang, walaupun dia tau orang itu Cuma manfaatin dia aja hahaha. Orang kompetitif yang kadang nyebelin hahaha. It’s nice to be your roommate.

Kok Hong!

Anak horang kayaaaah. Tajir abis. Gue selalu cerita2 yang menjurus sex ke dia. Cerita2 orang yang dia suka. Making a joke with our own country. Masih inget gue sering ngomong2 masalah tentang racist yang ada di negara dia. Dia juga rasis sih hahaha. Dia sekarang kuliah di UK. Dan banyak banget hal yang buat gue envy sama dia. I kinda miss him :P

Arga!

My Indonesian fellow friend. Gue gatau harus gimana kalo gue ga ada dia. Dia banyak banget bantu untuk presentase, dan kadang2 dia sering marah sama gue karena gue ga terlalu serius sama presentase dan lain lain hahaha. Maklum perfeksionis orangnya. Hahahaha

I think that’s enough. I dont know what to write anymore. More I write, More I miss them. Hahaha. Oh iya buat yang selalu nanya, aiesec itu bayar sendiri atau engga. Ya, gue pake uang gue sendiri (uang emak gue sih) dari mulai flight ticket sampe visa, uang jajan gue disana. Jadi ini bukan beasiswa atau dari badan pemerintah. Tapi kalian bisa juga minta bantuan ke badan-badan pemerintahan dan lembaga2 lainnya, asal kalian ngajuin proposal dan proposal kalian itu bagus. Dan juga kalo misalnya gamau ngerepotin ortu karena biaya, kan ada juga negara yang murah kaya Thailand. Aku suggest banget sih buat kalian untuk exchange, karena itu bakalan ngerubah hidup kalian deh, bagaimana kalian berfikir. Lebih open minded, no racist. Pokoknya, I reccomend banget. Gue aja pengen exchange lagi.

My experience in China was just too Great. It was the greatest thing Ive done in my life. Meeting best people in my life. They motivated me to be better. They taught me a lot and I learnt. I miss them. It’s an experience that not everyone couldnt get. I’m looking forward to seeing you guys!